


Caught in the Headlights

by Gothams_Only_Wolf



Series: Looking At The Moon [1]
Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cultural References, Fluff, Gen, Government Experimentation, Jake Jensen Can Be Terrifying AF, Jake Jensen is a Dork, Jake is a Nerd, M/M, Military Jargon, Morning Kisses, Nerdery, Pop Culture, Sharing Clothes, Telekinesis, Weaponry Identification, pop culture references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-07-22 02:04:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7414993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothams_Only_Wolf/pseuds/Gothams_Only_Wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm warning you, I am a lethal killing machine. It was a secret government experiment. They did stuff to me. Spooky stuff... Anal stuff. It turned me into a dangerous telekinetic. As the ancient Tibetan Philosophy states 'Don't start none, won't be none!'"</p><p>Thing is, Jake wasn't lying. </p><p>Or 5 times that someone discovered Jake's powers & the 1 time he used it to expose Max.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Saving Cougar

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Amethystina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amethystina/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Sniper and Hacker](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7311382) by [Amethystina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amethystina/pseuds/Amethystina). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This baby's inspired by Amesthystina's Sniper and Hacker, specifically Ch. 4. It reads similar up to a certain point. It's also my first The Losers fic so this is new for me!
> 
> Enjoy~

* * *

Jake Jensen has secrets on top of secrets. It's why his hair is so fuzzy, its full of them. Hell, the reason he hasn't exploded is because he's running his mouth about everything but them; a technique well-learned. 

He'll pepper anyone listening with random facts from the range of the rivers in the Serengheti to the exact length of a parasec and _most_ people will brush him off or get irritated or do anything else but listen. 

Most people aren't Cougar. 

There's four things to know about Jake's best friend in the Losers: 

One, don't touch the hat. Like, **ever**. 

Two, Cougar is quiet, not stupid. There's a reason he can shoot across two buildings and triangulate a shot in the wind. 

Three, dear **God** , is that Cougar is ridiculously, unfairly _hot as fuck_. 

Not that Jake will be telling that to him anytime soon, even with DADT repealed. 

And four—Well, four's kind of important—Jacob 'Jake' Jensen is in **_L-O-V-E_** with Carlos 'Cougar' Alvarez. Madly so, as a matter of fact. 

See, those secret government experiments he mentioned in Goliath—They happened. They made him more of a freak than he already was, the little he does remember, adding fuel to his already horrendous nightmares. 

The spooks had been so bland too.

* * *

**-AIT Graduation; 2002-**

Jake hugged his sister with a happy sigh now much taller and more gangly than he'd ever been. He shot up in Basic and then again in AIT, finally growing into his big puppy hands and feet. 

"Pvt. Jensen?" The sleek suit made Jake look him over with reserve, with well-deserved caution. 

"Yessir," He nudged Jess behind his back, facing the suit with his best wide-eyed look and a goofy smile. "That's me." 

"Would you like to help your government, Pvt. Jensen?" The suit's just bland enough to blend into the crowd of well-wishers for the recently graduated soldiers. "There's a... Program, full of volunteers eager to do so but we need a few more folks." 

"If I agree, does that make you the S.S.R. to my Steve Rogers?" Jake asked as he gave the guy his full attention. 

"I suppose," came the suit's dry response. 

"Then sure."

* * *

**-Govt. Building; Undisclosed Location of Major Suck; 2003-**

Jake woke up to a sour taste in his mouth and the urge to vomit. He grabbed for his glasses, tumbled out of the barracks bed and groaned at the note fluttering down. 

_Sgt. Jensen,_

_Do not regurgitate this serum. You will want to, very much so, but do not. Drink a glass of water and exercise until you sweat but—_

_Do. Not. Vomit._

_Sincerely,_

_Med Staff_

Okay then. No vomiting on the Doc's orders. Harder than it sounded but Jake could do that. 

He could definitely do that.

* * *

"Try again, Sgt. Jensen. Jake." Doc coaxed, Jake heaving in air as he blinked sweat out of his eyes. "It's a wooden block, not too big, not too small." 

Jake raised his hand again, concentrating on it so hard that it cracks down the center but doesn't move. 

He hates that red block more than he hates a lot of things.

"I can't. I'm real sorry Doc, I am, but whatever it is... I just don't have it in me. Guess part of me malfunctioned. I'm not your Captain America or your Prof X." Jake let the lie roll off his tongue, smooth as butter and twice as sweet. "I really am trying but..." 

"The serum doesn't work the same for everyone. We understand. You'll be released after the serum has run its course in your body." Doc reassured Jake, gently patting him on his shaking arm. 

"I _really_ am sorry, Doc." 

"I know."

* * *

**-Asscrack of the World # 394; Hell-inna-Handbasket; Losers vs. Max: Score, 3 to 1-**

Jake saw the flare of the muzzle scope before anyone else did, saw the gleaming barrel bare milliseconds before the bullet fired. 

"Cougar!" He screamed as blind panic sharpened all of his senses.

Jake snapped out his hand before he was aware of it stopping the bullet _two feet from Cougar's chest_. 

Baring his teeth in a snarl, he shot the one who thought it was a good idea to shoot at his best friend. 

"Cougs, you okay?" He reached out for Cougar but stopped when Cougar **flinched**. They locked eyes, blue to honey brown and Jake looked away first. 

Oh. Jake stared at his hand and simultainously cursed his ability and was grateful because it had saved Cougar's life. 

"Get your asses down to the rendezvous point, ASAP! We're leaving." Clay barked over comm.s. 

"Yeah, yeah, don't get your boxers in a twist, Boss." He drawled, not feeling it at all but faking the funk well enough.

* * *

**-Aisha's Safehouse; The Losers Van; Location of Vague Shittiness; 2011-**

Jake hid himself away from the world. He dove into codes, rewrote enough to hack those creepy Easter egg small nukes if he had to and avoided Cougar. 

Normally, they could be found practically living in each others' pockets but in the last week or so... Not so much. 

He avoided Cougs like it was a mission, for fuck's sake! If Cougar even set one foot in the space near Jake, he was gone—Poof. He ate early in the morning, when he remembered at all, going on his run the second he knew Cougar would be up. 

It was a terrible game of cat-n-mouse and Jake was so tired. Hell, he'd take another shot at that maniac Max if it meant not tearing his hair out over Cougar's stiff reaction. 

The van door opened up, Jake expecting Pooch to nag at him about food but... Cougar stood framed in the dim light of the morning, practically haloed. He flinched, dammit, because Cougar meant so much to him. If this was the I'm-not-your-friend-anymore speech, Jake was going to cry. 

He missed Cougar's snorts, his quips in Spanish that made Jake crack a smile every single time and the way he tilted The Hat (yes, the hat in question did deserve the capitalization, seriously, have you _seen_ that face?) when Jake started rambling. 

Jake had the feeling that rambling would not fix this, the thing that he'd put there, only make it worse. 

What he got was—

"Will you explain?" The soft tone was one Cougar rarely if ever used. 

Fiddling with the keys in front of him, not really typing shit, bought him enough time to gather up a response. 

"What about it?" 

The silence was even longer this time. Jake practically held his breath trying to wait Cougar out. 

"Fuck, Cougs." Jake scraped back his hair and blew out a long breath. "I... I don't do it a lot." Cougar warily eyes his hands, waving like the normally do and he pulled them down, out of his best friend's sight. "I know it's terrifying. I know what it looks like, me doing that. Always been a bit messed up, y'know, always stepping left when others go right. This only makes me more a _freak_ than—" He ducked his head and swallowed sharply at his wobbling voice. 

Cougar's square-tipped fingers brushed his shoulder before tilting his head back up. "Tell me, hmm?" 

Jake inhaled and sighed. "So, uh, Goliath. Remember about how I was riffin' over the comm.s about secret government experiments?" 

"Sí." The sunlight flared over Cougar's goatee and made him look so breathtaking that, for half-a-sec, Jake glazed over. 

"They happened." Cougar's intake of breath had him reassuring his best friend. "Not the anal stuff. Like, God, I would remember _that_ , at least. Nah, they did something to me. Don't remember all too much but wanting to vomit up the stuff they gave me. That and that fucking red wood block." 

"Jensen." Right. Back on topic. 

"They approached me after AIT. I was so damn keyed up from graduating that this guy almost slid past my radar. He asked if I wanted to help my government. Man, I really shoulda told him 'Fuck you' 'cause I could see the 'I'm a goddamn creep' vibe from a skyscraper. Figured it was better to roll over than to have them threaten me, y'know?" 

Cougar made an appropriate face, frowning heavily as he kept touching Jake. 

The touch was nice, grounding enough that he finished off with, "I let 'em think it was a failure. Convinced like half the others to do the same. I don't think they would've let us leave if we let on that it worked." He sighed. "I can stop stuff, hold it for a while, shake it a bit. Biggest I got to was the Supply-issued trash cans." 

"Show me?" Curiosity, yes, but also the same solid affection he'd always seen from Cougar. 

Jake didn't look but he thought about the apple-green lollipop in his stash, casually flicking his wrist and using the first two fingers to gesture it forward. It wobbled terribly and hit the floor of the van with a soft -click.- 

"I can't really do it on purpose for too long." He admitted as he flexed his dominant hand. "Has to be instinct, unplanned. I concentrate too hard and it cracks." 

"You don't use it." The statement could be a question, if Jake tilted it right. 

"Not if I can help it." Jake blurted. "I don't want you to fear..." 

When Cougar's hand warmed the back of his neck, Jake leaned into it. 

"I am not afraid, Jake." The sincerity in Cougar's voice made Jake crack the smallest smile. 

"Yeah?" 

" _Sí_." The barest flicker of a smile ghosted on the other man's lips and Jake hummed. 

"I, just, I didn't know how to tell you. I'm sorry." Cougar sank his fingers into Jake's fuzz and that prompted the words that got stuck in his throat. "Thanks, Cougs." 

" _De nada_." Jake leaned on him as heavily as possible, relishing the contact after a week without. 

Maybe it wasn't perfect but Jake could swing with the best of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, complain, ect.


	2. In Which Pooch is Pretty Chill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jake has a fluff-induced mental meltdown. 
> 
> This is fun to write!
> 
> Enjoy~

* * *

**-Shithole #24601; Losers vs. Max; Score: 9 n 3/4 to 7-**

Now that Cougar knew, Jake started practicing again. 

It was stupid—God was it _ever_ since Max's people were like cockroaches—but Jake couldn't let it go. 

He worked with little things; his lollipops and scraps of Post-It notes. If he concentrated on the idea of them, rather than the physical object, he could get it to do what he wanted for a few precious minutes. 

When Pooch started folding tiny Post-It airplanes, Jake stole them one-by-one until he had a tiny flight of neon pink, yellow and blue planes. He practiced with the planes in real-life formations and got to the point where he could sick them on people... Kinda like Hermione Granger. 

He hummed as he absently directed the flight into cutesy patterns while researching the next likely spot for the megalomaniac they were chasing would head to next. Jake swore to Clay that there was a pattern, that Max had a coordinated effort to draw the Losers away from the real objective. 

A knock had the tiny planes fluttering into a multi-colored heart shape that Jake absently waved into The Hat and squeaked as he set them all down with a waterbender move from this TV show he was binge-watching between bouts of heavy research. 

Pooch poked his head in and spotted the tiny flight in a perfect triangle formation on Jake's laptop bag. 

"So you're the one that's been yankin' my planes. I thought it might be you." The laugh made Jake grin unrepentantly and offer Pooch a cherry lollipop from his stash. The driver rarely expressed his love for the red fruit but when he did, well, Jake didn't much care for that flavor anyways. "Aisha said she might have a clue to help your pattern thing." 

"Yeah?" Jake leaned forward over his closed laptop, hopeful. 

"Gotcha." Pooch mushed a pie into Jake's face, over his glasses and Jake growled, the paper planes all lining up and swarming Pooch as he wiped away the key lime. Mmm, key lime. No, _focus_ , Pooch just hit him in the face with perfectly good pie. 

Uh-oh. Jake clenched his fingers into a fist, smashing all the tiny planes into paper balls that dropped into the meringue and lime filling. 

He took off his glasses and pulled Puppy Face # 1 on Pooch; it was definitely called for as he said, "Please don't tell anyone." 

"Not even Cougar?" Pooch prodded and Jake sighed as he picked a Kleenex out of his stash and wiped his face off. 

"... Cougs already, uh, got it." Jake was about three seconds from bolting for Cougar, actually. "'Skinda why we weren't talking for a week." 

"Wait, wait, I thought you two were butt buddies." Pooch sat on the edge of the bumper that wasn't covered in pie, concern on his face. "Is that what caused it?" 

"You're..." Jake swallowed heavily and asked anyway. "You're not freaked out? Honestly, if I saw my teammate making my tiny flight telekinetically move like a swarm of birds, I'd totally—?" 

Pooch had set a finger on Jake's lips to get him quiet, pulling it away when Jake stopped. 

"Telekinetic." 

"Yes...?" 

"You're telling me I've known you for seven years and never caught onto the fact that I have an X-Man for a brother." Pooch commented as he shook his head. "Unless this is recent?" 

"No, I, uh, I started practicing again after Cougar found out. I didn't do it too much before, didn't want to freak you out." Jake quietly answered as he dug around for a dirty towel to clean off his face and his glasses. "I get it if you want to out me." 

"Jake, man, I am not gonna out you, not until you say it's okay. This'll be between me, Cougar and you." Pooch admitted as he helped clean up his mess. "You're gonna have to change shirts." 

"Aww man, I liked this one." Jake pouted but took off the pie soaked one without touching his miraculously clean laptop. 

Cougar passed the van and stopped, raising a brow into his hatband at the sight of Jake half-naked. 

"Heya Cougs!" Jake waved when Cougar gave him the small, sweet smile that Cougar gave to just him. "Pooch got me good with key lime pie. All my shirts are upstairs—" He dropped the shirt and caught the long sleeved shirt Cougar had just stripped off, leaving him in the scarf and jean vest he normally wore. Jake immediately pulled it on and grinned at his best friend. "I'll wash it and get it back to you, Cougs." 

"Keep it. I have a few more," Cougar replied before striding up the fire escape of their new place. 

"Dude, you share shirts?" Wide whiskey eyes flicked from Cougar to Jake and back. 

"Yeah," Jake shrugged easily. Inside his brain though, _whole different story_. 

Cougar being nice? Y/N

Circle Y. 

Cougar being sweet? Y/N

Circle Y. 

Cougar flirting? Y/N/?!

Circle ?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, complain, ect.


	3. Clay Does Have a Heart~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was really, really hard not to write Clay like I would John Winchester. 
> 
> Enjoy~

* * *

**-Hoth; Ass Has Turned Into A Frozen Nibblet; Losers vs. Max; Score: Winter Is Coming, No One Is Safe; 2012-**

Jake didn't give the shirt back... exactly. He kept it until Cougar's scent faded and then traded it for the other one, burying his nose into the smell. It wasn't hard, considering the shirt that spent the most time closest to Cougar's skin went into the laundry first. 

He stole his latest shirt, piled three blue flannels and a black scarf on top as they sat watching for Max's minion to come out of the shack. Problem was that he forgot his gloves in their little hitch hovel. 

Clay exasperatedly fished out a second pair, dark blue and smelling distinctly of Aisha but they fit well enough. 

"Hey, how're you and Ms. I-aim-for-the-dick-shot doin'?" Jake _could_ have kept quiet. He'd done missions that required absolute silence. But this didn't have that stricture and he could see Clay's lower left eye twitch. 

"Adequate. How are you and Cougar?" Clay sighed as he set down the binoculars to face Jake briefly. 

"Sir?" The confusion sat on his face and Clay scraped a hand down his stubble. 

"So you and Cougar aren't dating." 

"No sir." He replied as he watched the shack creak in the wind. "We're not." 

"That, uh, policy was removed. I'm alright with it so long as you don't... _flaunt_ it too much." Clay continued with a slowly reddening face. "If you were, you know, **dating**." 

"Sir, that happens the day I can catch Max with my brain." Jake drawled out, "Which, frankly, Sir, I don't have enough practice with yet. Pooch can commit to the lethality of my tiny Post-It planes, at least." 

"Post-It planes." Clay didn't sound all that convinced. 

"Tiny ones,"Jake remembered that his SO wasn't supposed to know about five seconds after he'd answered. "that I can control with my mind." 

Clay stilled and kept staring into his binoculars but Jake saw the tension settle across the familiar shoulders. "Oh?" 

"Yeah." Jake's voice was very small, cautious now. 

"Not going to elaborate, Sgt. Jensen?" Clay questioned flatly. "Not even a little, after that bomb?" 

"So, remember Goliath?" He asked as he fiddled with the edge of the scarf tied around his neck. "I wasn't lying... exactly." 

"The experiments." The Colonel guessed as he kept survelliance on the target. 

"Yessir." 

"That's a tactical advantage but," here Clay relaxed as he huffed, "I suppose I can see where you'd be reluctant to reveal it. What are your extents?" 

"I can lift things, hold 'em still or stop 'em." Jake murmured as he listed it off. "I'm trying to get better at bigger stuff." 

"I need a damn drink." Clay groaned as the minion got winged by Cougar's shot and Aisha lunged for the bastard. He softened, ever so briefly, to mutter, "Thanks for letting me know. Probably scared the shit outta you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, complain, ect.


	4. Aisha Has Better Things To Worry About

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost done already! Wow, this thing has eaten my life. 
> 
> Enjoy~
> 
> The reference for the location and the recipe that I use and love: 
> 
> http://www.italianstudies.org/hui235/outline_of_inferno.htm 
> 
> http://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-steamed-pork-buns-baozi-156361

* * *

**-Dante's Inferno; Canto XVIII; Losers vs. Max; Score: Dammit, Lost Count; 2012-**

They're soaked to the bone from the monsoon rains, pissed because they missed Max and his cronies by _this goddamn much_ and hungry. 

"So..." Jake dug through the ingredients stuffed into the ratty hotel cupboards, the fridge and crowed victory at the sight of meat in the freezer. "I can make mystery meat baozi and fix at least one of our problems, maybe two." 

"Baozi?" Pooch asked, perking up at the mention of food. Cougar cleaned his rifle with a little more care, his tense shoulders dropping and Clay unburied his face from the shitty couch cushions. 

"Dumplings." Aisha clarified as she spoke for the first time in six hours. "They're an Eastern staple. How do you know how to make them?" She squinted at him in suspicion but Jake only gifted her with a lopsided grin. 

"This wickedly old Vietnamese lady who either thought I was a crazy white kid or a really smart one." He responded as he set the various parts onto the counter. "She didn't call 'em baozi but steamed dumplings are kinda universal this side of the world." 

Jake hummed as he kneaded the dough and danced to his own tune, stuffing the dough into a decent-sized bowl to rest and started on the meat filling. Pooch paid attention with utter fascination as he whipped up a meal from almost nothing. 

"How are you making the salt and pepper dance along with you?" Aisha inquired before he noticed the wiggling spice containers. 

Jake, much to his embarrassment, had been humming 'Traguna Mekoides Tracorum Satis De' and his telekinetic ability had done the rest. Clay snorted, Pooch grinned and Cougar started humming the song again, a twinkle in his eyes that could be read as mischief; much to Aisha's confusion. 

"Well, uh, this either the part where you shoot me, again, or I get to explain while cooking all of you dinner." Jake replied pragmatically, a wry smile tugging at his lips. 

"Explain." She wasn't stupid but she also wasn't in the mood for games. "Now." 

"Dunno if you heard me back in Goliath, but I made this quip—what was it? Oh yeah—that went a little something like, 'I'm warning you, I am a lethal killing machine. It was a secret government experiment. They did stuff to me. Spooky stuff... Anal stuff. It turned me into a dangerous telekinetic. As the ancient Tibetan Philosophy states 'Don't start none, won't be none!'" 

Aisha blinked and then sighed. "And this is leading to what? That you're actually..." 

"A telekinetic? Yeah." Jake shrugged, too tired to argue and too busy cooking to care. "If you do plan on shooting me, make it quick." 

"Please don't, Aisha. We need him." Clay ordered from the couch, having rolled onto his back to stare at the cracked ceiling. 

"At least wait until he's done with dinner?" Pooch requested and Cougar... 

Cougar was done cleaning his rifle and was staring meaningfully at Aisha. The 'I dare you to shoot my best friend. Try me' face that Cougar could pull off so readily that it made Jake's stupidly fond heart skip a beat at the sight. 

"Why do you all think I'm going to shoot our second intel source?" Aisha rolled her eyes and sidled up to Jake's side, watching him cook. "Besides, I've always wanted to know how the hell people make these from scratch. Why do I give a shit if you're a telekinetic?" 

"Uh, past experience." Jake retorted, pulling up his damp sleeve and realizing he's still wearing Cougar's shirt. The scar shined in the light of the tiny stove but made his point. "Yay, now everybody knows." 

"Wait, _what_?" Three of the four yelp in unison. Cougar only shook his head and tipped his hat forward, the edge of a smile clear on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, complain, ect. Feedback is lovely!


	5. Beth and The Wizard Theory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lot of fun with the Jensens chapter here. They're all so bubbly! 
> 
> Enjoy~

* * *

**-Castle in The Sky; Homeward Bound; Losers vs. Max; Score: Fuck That, It's Beth's Birthday; 2012-**

"Pizza delivery!" Jake chirruped from under the stupid hat that he'd nabbed from the pizza guy. 

"I'll be there in a moment!" Jess called back, distracted as she was by at least six ten-year-old girls laughing it up in the living room. "So what do I—Jake!" His sister hugged him close and swatted the shoulder curling around her frame without looking at it. "We didn't think you'd make it." 

"I already paid the delivery guy and I even paid for the hat, before you ask. Pizza's gonna get cold if I stand here any longer." Jake presses a kiss to her golden curls before sweeping inside to lay down the pizzas on the kitchen counter. 

"Beth, honey, guess who-" 

"Uncle Jake!" Beth hugged his middle as hard as she could and Jake only swept the hat off his hair to hug her back just as tightly as her. 

"Hey Jelly Bean." He whispered into her hair, wrinkling his nose as her curls got caught in his nostrils. "Or are you too old for nicknames?" He looked her in the eyes, blue caught against hazel as he knelt to be her height. 

"Just you can call me that." She hummed back, touching her forehead to his. 

"Thought so. I brought you a present." 

Beth laughed and dragged him over to the cluster of girls. "This is my Uncle Jake. He works a lot so I don't get to see him too much." 

"Hi." Jake waved and the girls giggled, leaving him with the distinct feeling that he was going to either be out of his depths or right at home. 

"So, what's the present?" 

"I, uh, maybe sorta remembered that your favorite animal was a Thai cat..." Beth gasped as Jake scooped one out of his bag, the seal point kitten mewing loudly before he held the kitten to his chest. All the girls cooed at the tiny addition, the little paws kneading Jake's hand. "You and your Mom'll have to get him a litter box and all but, he's your responsibility. You gotta be his best friend and his caretaker. Can you do that?" 

"Wow." Beth gently cradled the kitten when Jake handed him over. "He's really cute, Uncle Jake." 

"He's got papers." Jake gave those to Jess as Beth made goo-goo eyes at her kitten. "His registered name's T̄hêā, which means Ash." 

"Oh thank you, thank you, _thank you_!" Beth peppered his face with kisses that made him happy.

* * *

After all the little girls had gone home, Jake was pinned to the couch by Jess and Beth as they watched Disney movies and marathoned Jurrassic Park. T̄hêā was sprawled in Beth's lap, tiny chest rising and falling in sync with Beth's breathing and fast asleep. 

"Uncle Jake?" Beth asked as she looked up from his shoulder. 

"Hmm." 

"Are you a wizard?" The innocent question had Jake almost choking on his soda. 

"What makes you say that, Beth?" Jess asked and oh, this was going to get **awkward** in about five seconds flat. 

"'Cause Uncle Jake put his clothes in the guest bedroom without touching the bag and he waved his hand to do it." Beth continued as Jess gave Jake a look that said 'we'll be having a long talk, mister.' "His shaving stuff floated into the bathroom too. Can I do that?" 

"Ah, no, Jelly Bean. That's only something I can do. Remember those X-Men comics I sent you?" Jake explained gently, trying not to upset Beth but also including Jess into the conversation. 

Beth's eyes widened and she gasped. "You're a mutant?" 

"I was thinking more along the terms of Wolverine, honey." Jess shrewdly guessed as Jake rose an eyebrow. "But with Jean's powers, right?" 

"That works." Jake agreed with a fervent nod. "Good, uh, good talk. Eeek!" Jess dragged Jake into the guest bedroom and locked the door. 

"I know you came back from the dead recently, Jake." Jess pinned him with a gimlet eye as Jake paced in front of the door. "But it doesn't explain powers you didn't have." 

"Alright, look, you remember that creep back when I graduated AIT?" Jake blew out a long breath and slid down the far wall, Jess joining him to lean on his shoulder. 

"The one who asked you if you wanted to serve your country." She frowned and cuddled even closer. "Jake, what happened to you?" 

"I don't remember all that much about the actual shit they did to me, but I remember a serum, a command and a lot of practice that I flubbed on purpose. It's not exactly something that comes up as a regular topic, y'know?" He blurted out. 

"Oh Jake... Does anyone else know?" 

"My team," Jake wiped a tired hand down his face after shoving his glasses up into his hair. "God, I saved Cougs from a _bullet_. Pooch got attacked by tiny Post-It planes, my boss found out by accident and our, uh, consultant did too. I've been holding it to my chest for so long that it freaks me out that they're fine with it. Especially Cougar." 

"You sound like you like Cougar." Jess patted his chest but kept close, both of them almost breathing in sync. "I mean, more than usual." 

"Like him? I'm so deep down that rabbit hole, I'm not coming out." He sighed as he let his head thunk back against the bright blue wall. "I'm so tired of chasing this asshole who almost killed us on multiple occasions and I'm tired of having to hide who I am and what I can do." 

"Maybe you can use that to your advantage?" She asked and Jake's responding grin was matched by her own devious one. 

Yeah, Jess was pretty much the best sister ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, complain, ect.


	6. What Comes Around, Goes Back Around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The + 1 chapter where Max gets his ass handed to him by the Losers. 
> 
> Enjoy~

* * *

**-Bolivia; All Outta Bubblegum, Gonna Kick Ass and Take Names Instead; Losers vs. Max; Score: Losers Win; 2013-**

It ended where it started, of course, because Max was an asshole with delusions of grandeur. 

"Look, I appreciate the chasing." Max drawled out as he strolled down the line of Losers, feet squishing in loafers not meant to be in a country hot enough to melt rubber flip-flops on the roads. "Really, I do, but it got old. That's what you all are, remnants that continue to be a thorn in my side. Which means you have to go and what better place than the one that you were supposed to die in?" 

"You ruin everything you touch," Aisha hissed at him, her split lip and cut brow lending her an even more ferocious look. 

"Of course I do." 

"You made one of us betray our own country." Clay snarled, the blood around his mouth smearing as he spoke. Did Jake mention that Max's goons had kicked their collective asses? No? It's been mentioned now. 

"Please. He wanted an out, I gave it to him." Max sneered as he paused at Pooch. "What's your quip, hmm." 

"You are one sick fuck, you know that?" Pooch huffed as he cracked his neck. 

"Original, this one." Their former handler kicked Pooch in the gut and moved onto Cougar. "The hat, is it a cliché or do I get to pluck it off your head after you die?" 

" _No toque el sombrero_." Cougar bared his teeth as he leaned away from the questing hand, embodying his name in every sense of the word with his body tightly coiled and tense. 

"Somebody translate that bullshit." Max grunted. 

"He said, 'Don't touch the hat,' asshole." Jake filled in cheerfully as he licked the blood still streaming down his face from the cut across his right cheek. "Stupider people than you have touched The Hat and died for it." 

"Ah, the one who stole the coding at Goliath. I looked up your stupid little quip, you know, and I found no such thing. You were lying and had back-up on hand in case you got stuck." 

Jake squinted up at him through his broken lenses and grinned ferociously. "Did you now?" 

"No such file exists." 

He kept his shit-eating grin and it only got wider the longer Max looked. "Awww, you had some terrible hackers then. File # 469, circa 2003, Project Mirrormask. You won't have the time to look it up, mind you, so I'll just let you in on what it was. It made super-soldiers. Y'know, some _Captain America level shit_ except with Winter Soldier sleeper codes. Guess what you just activated?" 

"That's it, you're first. Give me a gun." Max snapped his fingers and some moron delivered a 9mm Glock. 

"Bad idea," Pooch snorted as Max loaded the gun's magazine and chambered the first round. 

" _Really_ bad idea," Aisha chimed in as she dislocated her thumb while none of them were paying attention to slip her own ties. 

Clay spat out a mouthful of blood and added, "Go right ahead. Make my day with your stupidity." 

Cougar's glare could have killed Max where he stood, all righteous fury and fire contained within the honeyed gaze. 

Max fired, the report of the shot echoing into silence as Jake tilted his head to the side and stopping the bullet not a hairsbreadth from his skull. The bullet dropped while he casually freed his hands from their bindings as Max's men stood in shock. 

"You really should have listened to my team, Max." Jake purred as he clenched his open hand into a fist, crushing all of the guns that weren't tagged with Loser initials within the span of one breath and the next. A sweeping gesture knocked the minions off of their feet and Jake dry-heaved as a spike of pain lanced his mind. 

This was stretching his ability to it's limits, maybe even breaking them. 

Max lunged for him, half-blinded and winded as Jake was, but ended up being blocked by a pissed-off Cougar with the butt of the sniper rifle to Max's chin. The third strike knocked Max the fuck out. 

" _No toque mi novio, que **culo**_!" 

Jake's scrambled brain took a second to register the Spanish but when he _did_ , his bloodied face split into a wide, happy smile. 

**Don't touch my boyfriend, you ass.**

"Really?" Cougar's booted foot on an unconcious Max kept the maniac there as Aisha wrapped wire around their former handler's hands and feet. Jake shuffled over to Cougar as Pooch and Clay rounded up the scared-shitless bad guys. "Did you mean that?" 

Cougar pushed up the brim of his hat and glanced at Jake with faint hope as he leaned on his rifle. " _Sí._ " 

Jake shyly offered his hand and Cougar laced their fingers together, both of them bloody and sore as hell. 

He wanted a kiss but figured it could wait until they were cleaner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, complain, ect.


	7. Epilogue: Hearts Aglow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All done! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who read this and a special shout-out goes to Amesthystina for inspiring this booger in the first place. :) I've been batting around the idea of a The Losers fic since I read my first one (Amesthystina's, obvs) but never quite had the courage to post anything. 
> 
> Enjoy~

* * *

The Losers turned Max over to Interpol, the slippery bastard, gibbering about telekinetics and with a broken nose (courtesy of Cougar). A list of his crimes were pinned to his chest with a USB full of information to back it up. Jake had several back-ups in case it got 'destroyed' by Max's minions. 

"Any of what he's blathering on about true, you think?" The Interpol Agent was a silver streaked vixen with a flare for style. 

"Nah," Jake replied with a grin that tugged on the blood caking his face, namely the cuts on top of the nose bleed he'd had after extending his telekinesis that far. "He's just a good ol' villain who got wrapped up in his own plot." 

"Alright."

* * *

**-Yucatán Peninsula, México, Alvarez Hacienda; Got a Name To Go Along With Those Rippling Pectorals; Victory; 2013-**

Jake yawned like a cat, hissing as it pulled against the healing scabs on his face. He sat up while scrubbing the left side of his face and blinked at his surroundings. It came back to him in bits and pieces; being welcomed by one of Cougar's many cousins, sitting down to a meal after a long shower and falling asleep next to... 

Cougar was sleeping peacefully, inky strands splayed over a bright blue pillow. Jake settled back under the covers with a happy sigh. He squeaked as Cougar pulled him close with a low hum that turned into his name. 

"Mmm, Jake." 

"Yeah?" He asked and Cougar's eyes snapped open instantly. 

"This is a dream." The certainty broke Jake's heart a little. Well, there was more than one way to show Cougar it was reality...

"Uh-uh." Jake disagreed as he snuggled under Cougar's chin and nipped hard enough for Cougar to yelp in surprise. "Real. You used your rifle like a caveman's club and asked to be my boyfriend in the same breath. Kinda sexy, beating up Max up for me." 

Cougar pulled back and looked Jake over, the bandages apparently bringing back the memory of catching Max for good. "How's your head?" 

"Little sore, don't get me wrong, and I really gotta practice on people more but—Mmm." Jake's eyes fluttered shut as Cougar kissed the living daylights out of him. 

Cougar kissed like all the words he didn't speak, intensely and full of the restrained passion that overflowed where he could express it. Jake drank in the attention eagerly, rolling them so that he could feel Cougar's weight. They panted heavily when they stopped due to their previous injuries. 

Jake wound his arms around Cougar's shoulders and looked up with a goofy grin that wasn't quite leaving his lips. Honey eyes swept over his expression and crinkled at the edges as Cougar pressed kisses to the uninjured parts of Jake's face. 

" _Carlos, mijo_ —Oh!" Jake knew what it looked like. His heart sank before Cougar spun his darkening thought process on its head. 

"Tia Teresa, this is Jake." Cougar introduced as he gazed down at Jake in complete adoration. "Jake, this is my Tia Teresa. Ask her if you need anything, hmm?" 

"Of course, Cougs." Jake responded before Tia Teresa left them with a shake of her head. "Hey, is my laptop bag in here?" Cougar hummed and pointed out the table next to the window. He made to get up before Jake's thighs locked around his hips. "Nope. Just needed to know where it was, not get up and waste some quality time with my boyfriend." 

"... It was very heat of the moment." Cougar flushed and Jake laughed. 

"What it was, Cougar, was a goddamn genius move." He countered as he stroked the back of his fingers along Cougar's stubbled cheek. "I promise." 

The mega-watt smile Cougar graced him with (if somewhat uncharacteristic) left Jake with the feeling of the sun glowing in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, complain, ect.


End file.
